Jazz singer Nnenna Freelon is known for her award-winning talent along with an equally notable family.

But, in 2019, Freelon lost her husband and soulmate, renowned architect Phil Freelon, to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS. Soon after, Freelon’s sister, Debbie, passed from cancer, and her beloved dog Basie followed; all within six months.

Living through one loss after another, Freelon relied on her private journal to chronicle her confrontation with, and, ultimately, comfort with grief. Her musings, often mimicking the improvisational nature of jazz, are compiled in her book, “Beneath the Skin of Sorrow,” which was released in October.

Freelon will read an excerpt and participate in a community discussion on Feb. 11 at Transitions LifeCare in Raleigh.

“This event is an opportunity to share with a community that's very well acquainted with grief in an open sharing way,” Freelon told The Tribune. “…not trying to fix it, not trying to give solutions but just have an open conversation.” The book is Freelon’s first step into her literary voice.

Transitions LifeCare was founded in 1979. The organization works to address four core pillars of hospice and comforting care: social, spiritual, psychological and physical.

Dwan Kelsey, Transitions associate director of education, told The Tribune that only a small percentage of what the team does is medical care.

“The book signing is critical for everybody in the entire community, because that's not something that we can get away from: grief and loss,” Kelsey said. A documentary debunking myths and misconceptions about hospice, “An Act of Love,” was narrated by Freelon and released last year.

Freelon said that Western culture frequently ignores conversations about death. Her book is not a how-to guide about dealing with grief and loss but simply opening up the conversation.

“The fear is that you'll be annihilated, that it will totally choke you, it will totally do away with you. But it doesn't, or it didn't for me,” she said. “When I sat still long enough to let it touch me, it was a trembling feeling. It was not a good feeling. But how about sitting with it? I felt some things ease over time.”

Now, she is on a “first-name basis” with grief. “I’ve made a frenemy of grief,” she said.

Although everyone will go through grief at some point in their lifetime, Kelsey said every person is different.

“What makes it challenging is because we bring our own experiences,” she said. “People bring themselves, people bring their experiences; what they have seen, what they have understood to be, whether it is correct information or whether it's misinformed information, that's what they bring in.

“So when you ask, how do you get people to that space? You really do it moment by moment and understanding where they are, you have to meet people where they are.”

Kelsey also said that Freelon’s book and conversations about grief and loss are critical.

“We’re either going to talk about it proactively, or we're going to respond reactively,” she said. “Everybody will benefit, because at some point in time, everybody will experience grief, and it may not be the loss of an individual, it just may be a loss. Like I said, grief is grief; it's universal.”

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